MEAN-BEAN-ENQUIRER-SATIRE-WEBSITE-LOGO.jpg

Breaking News, Broken News, and Perfectly Fine News

  • Melanie Lech

Entrepreneur’s Success Story Goes Viral on LinkedIn



[Transcribed from LinkedIn]



I didn't come from money.


I came from a small pickle factory in southern Ohio.


For 6 years, all I had to eat was pickles.


The kids at school made fun of me because I was different, and I always smelled like dill.


They called me Dilliam, PicklePants, Poor Pickle Boy, the list goes on...


My first job was cleaning toilets with a pickle.


But one day, I had enough.


I saved up all of my pickles and used them to pay for college.


I was promoted to CFO within a year of graduating.


Why? Because I worked my tailpickles off?

No.


Because I am Smarter and More Handsome Than All Of You? (I know it, you know it, the pickles know it.)

No.


Because I worked my tailpickles off.


And if I can do it, you can too.


I'm no one special. I'm just Nick AwesomeSuccess Matthews.


In a world of cucumbers, be a pickle.




MORE MEAN BEAN ENQUIRER ARTICLES >

MEAN BEAN STRIPPED COMICS >

I CAN'T READ. SHOW ME VIDEOS >

Got a problem? Think we aren’t a REAL news site like the “National Enquirer,” which STOLE our name? Think we’re just some satire/comedy writers from Charlotte, NC making some JOKE of a site like a lesser-known The Onion, Clickhole, or AboveAverage? Think we don’t FACT CHECK?? Well, you thought wrong.

Send leads to enquirer@meanbeancomedy.com.